My back to school anxiety dreams have begun. I never had these dreams as a student, and in addition to putting up with people winking at me and saying, “Those who can’t do, teach!” I consider this ritual of August to be the worst part of my job. They seem to have begun a few weeks early this year, but I have the distinct feeling that I said that last year, so who knows.
I remember bits and pieces of my dreams most nights, although they slip through my fingers within a few hours of waking so that I can no longer articulate them. The images might have taken hold, but I lack the words to attach to those images.
So far during my sleeping hours this past week, I’ve been transferred to another school and nobody would tell me where I was supposed to go and what I was supposed to do, I showed up late on the first day of school, I got to work for the teacher inservice days and none of the people I know still worked in the building, and – my personal favorite – I showed up to teach my first day of school and my class was so out of control that one student stood up, unzipped his fly, and took a leak on the floor.
I haven’t had the big one yet. Old Reliable. The dream I have every year. The one that makes me wake up in a cold sweat. The one that seems so real that it takes me days to shake the feeling that I’ve totally blown it, or am about to.
Can you guess what it is?