Every once in a while, I’ll say something, and my kids look at me like I’m an alien.
OH ALRIGHT. More like once a day. But every once in a while they look at me like I”m an alien because they have learned something about me that makes them have an “Woman, I don’t even KNOW who you ARE” moment. The other night at dinner, I started a sentence with, “When I lived in San Francisco…” and my daughter almost fell off her chair. “San Francisco???!!! You never lived in California!” Like I was lying.
Pull up a chair, kiddies, it’s time you learned some of what makes your Mama your Mama:
She went away to sleepover camp starting when she was eight and every summer after that until she was 14. Uncle Booger hated camp. The only time she remembers actually being nice to him during their entire childhood was the summer their parents made Uncle Booger go to camp and he was miserable the whole time.
She speaks French pretty well.
She used to play ice hockey. Poorly, but enthusiastically.
She used to manage an art gallery, not a cool, hip art gallery, but a touristy commercial art gallery on Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco (Did too live in California, so there).
She can waterski. Well.
She used to smoke. And not just a little bit or occasionally. Sorry to say.
When she was 26, she won her age group in a 5K. She was the only entrant in her age group, but that’s a detail she sometimes leaves out of the story.
Until she had children who learned to swim in waters populated by fish, she was phobic about fish. Not just scared of fish, mind you, but phobic. She’d started to force herself to get over it a few years before, but she didn’t want you to be afraid so she never let on that she hated swimming in water when there were fish around when she was with you. She’s not really that afraid anymore.
Snakes, on the other hand, are a totally different story. And she doesn’t care if you know it.
Your dad was the first guy she ever felt romantic love for. And the first guy she ever said “I love you” to. It was a long time ago. She didn’t know what love really was back then. But she does now. Different kind of love, but the same guy!
She didn’t learn to drive until she was almost 18. And then didn’t drive much until she was about 20. She is, nevertheless, an excellent driver and an even better parallel parker. Despite what your father might say.
After high school she lived for a summer in Newport, Rhode Island with her three best friends. According to your grandfather, the Geez, it was the “most expensive summer he never had.”
She almost went to law school.
She can’t watch anyone brush their teeth. Including you. Including herself. Instant gagfest.
She has driven across the country by herself three times.
She loathes musical theater and parades.
By the time she was 8, she’d been to Denmark, Norway, Sweden, England, Germany, France, Belgium, Scotland, Africa, Greece, Wales, and the Caribbean. She figures she’d better get on the ball and, at minimum, get your passports ready.
She used to travel to see the Grateful Dead. Not exactly a Dead Head, but there was tie dye involved.
Sometimes when you aren’t home, she watches Phineas and Ferb anyway.
I watch Phineas and Ferb, too. SHHHH!!!
She’s also really lovely and great fun to be around.
(P.S. My favorite dead song is ‘Ripple.’)
This was a fun reason to look back at where and who you’ve been, and what you’ve experienced.
I wish I spoke French. I always planned to see The Grateful Dead, but I wound up never doing it.
And I didn’t receive my license until I was eighteen either. My husband taught me how to drive.
you rock. I went to Canada when I was a kid, but no one seems to care.
I’ve got a few things to add. 1. You used to stalk a man named Malcolm who defined chili as including macaroni. 2. You have been known to live almost an entire day on Italian candy with flavors like “frizzante” and “uva.” 3. You once had a job where the large majority of your day was taken up by playing Tetris.
By the way, I never knew about the teeth brushing thing. I’m the same way. The worst is when people (read: husband) talk while brushing their teeth. I have to leave the room.
Correction! The majority of my day was spent playing tetris, taking pretend notes in staff meetings, and rewriting lyrics to American folk songs to include the names of co-workers.
When they finally read this list, it’s going to be as unnerving as the first time you ran into a grade-school teacher outside the school.
Also, I like your list of things. I want to ask my mom to do it but I’m afraid.
Three times by yourself? Amazing. I need to get on that whole driving across the country thing. I’ve been talking about it for years. Funny how that happens.
I was a little bit afraid for the curly ones when I saw this sentence:
Pull up a chair, kiddies, it’s time you learned some of what makes your Mama your Mama:
Because I thought it was going to be one of those stories that burns That Image into their brains forever.
Thank you, so very much, for telling a whole ‘nother story.
I so loathe musical theater, too. And I love Phineas and Ferb.