My son and his friend were sitting in the audience of the High School auditorium, I don’t know if they were in high school or just visiting; details like that are frustratingly fuzzy in dreams.

I was up on stage, standing at the podium, hyper aware that the speaker was ready to start his presentation.  He was inching toward me, impatient, and his people were not too subtly hinting that it was time for me to wrap it up.  I was trying to finish making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for my son and his friend. It was very important that I make them and hand them off to the boys before the presentation began.

The bread was tearing because the peanut butter wasn’t spreading correctly, I got jelly on the podium, I was trying to gather up the jars of PB and J and I put the wrong lids on the wrong containers; it was a mess.  I was frazzled.  I finished the sandwiches as the speaker actually began to speak.  I took everything into my arms, hands full of sandwiches and started to make my way off the front of the stage in front of a packed house when I realized:

I was wearing a too short  nightshirt, and as if that weren’t bad enough, I had a massive wedgie and my butt cheeks were hanging out.  Too late, I realized that I didn’t to need give them sandwiches just then, I could have backed off the stage and forgotten about the whole sandwich making and delivering enterprise and spared everyone, most of all me, the entire fiasco.

That was the end of the dream.

Before I woke up though, I very clearly thought to myself, “This one is a no brainer, you cannot spend this year trying to do everything all at once.  That doesn’t work for ANYONE and you will end up with your ass hanging out like a fool.”

May all your neuroses be so easily diagnosed.

And may your hands not be full of peanut butter and jelly so that you can pick your wedgie.