You don’t need any recipes for the crab feast – just crabs, shrimp, coleslaw, corn, potato chips aplenty, deviled eggs, and a salad.  And beer.  Don’t forget the beer.

The cake wasn’t good enough for me to pass along the recipe, although the icing was great – straight up chocolate buttercream from the Barefoot Contessa.

The ice cream, though, you’re going to want to make.  I got all three recipes from Epicurious and have copied them below with my notes.  Keep in mind that ice cream takes about ten times longer thanyou think it will to freeze up.  I

sent out a desperate email begging for an already-frozen ice cream maker cannister at 1 in the morning and, because I have the most well-prepared friends on the planet, got a call by 8 the next morning and was cranking out the good stuff by noon on multiple machines.  To avoid making the same mistake I did, try not to decide, last minute, that you MUST make three different kinds of homemade ice cream within 24 hours of the time you’ll be serving it.  Lesson learned.  (probably not.)

 Vanilla Bean Ice Cream
2 vanilla beans – Vanilla beans cost a fortune.  I might quit my job and move to Madagascar and become a vanilla bean farmer.
3 cups heavy cream
1 cup whole milk
1 1/2 cups sugar
3 large eggs

With a knife halve vanilla beans lengthwise. Scrape seeds into a large heavy saucepan and stir in pods, cream, milk, and sugar. Bring mixture just to a boil, stirring occasionally, and remove pan from heat. 

In a large bowl lightly beat eggs. Add hot cream mixture to eggs in a slow stream, whisking, and pour into pan. Cook custard over moderately low heat, stirring constantly, until a thermometer registers 170�F. (Do not let boil.) Pour custard through a sieve into a clean bowl and cool. Chill custard, its surface covered with wax paper, at least 3 hours, or until cold, and up to 1 day.  This is less of a pain in the ass than it sounds.  Also, I used a meat thermometer.  No harm, no foul.

Last step:  churn it up in your ice cream maker according to your ice cream maker’s directions. 

Grapefruit Sorbet
5 medium-large pink grapefruit (about 4 pounds)
3/4 cup plus 1 tablespoons (or more) sugar  – OR less, I found this a little sweet, honestly.
2 tablespoons vodka

“Using knife, cut peel and white pith from grapefruit. Working over bowl, cut between membranes to release segments. Squeeze any juice from membranes into bowl. Discard any seeds. Cut each segment into pieces; add to bowl. Transfer contents of bowl to 4-cup glass measuring cup.”  Those were the official instructions, mine are more along the line of: get the parts likely to taste bitter off the grapefruit then squish them into a bowl.  Ta-da.

Place 3 cups grapefruit and juice mixture in blender (reserve any remainder for another use). Add 3/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon sugar and vodka. Blend until almost smooth and sugar dissolves, about 2 minutes. 

Do the ice cream maker thing. Spoon sorbet into container. Cover and freeze until firm, at least 3 hours. (Sorbets can be made 1 day ahead.)

Salted Caramel Ice Cream
1 1/4 cups sugar, divided
2 1/4 cups heavy cream, divided
1/2 teaspoon flaky sea salt such as Maldon
1/2 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 cup whole milk
3 large eggs

Heat 1 cup sugar in a dry 10-inch heavy skillet over medium heat, stirring with a fork to heat sugar evenly, until it starts to melt, then stop stirring and cook, swirling skillet occasionally so sugar melts evenly, until it is dark amber. – this is sort of intimidating to read – but it’s not bad.  And totally worth it.  Really, really worth it.

Add 1 1/4 cups cream (mixture will spatter) and cook, stirring, until all of caramel has dissolved. Transfer to a bowl and stir in sea salt and vanilla. Cool to room temperature or thereabouts, unless you’re in a hurry and then just pretend you did this by sticking it in the refrigerator for a half hour.

Meanwhile, bring milk, remaining cup cream, and remaining 1/4 cup sugar just to a boil in a small heavy saucepan, stirring occasionally.

Lightly whisk eggs in a medium bowl, then add half of hot milk mixture in a slow stream, whisking constantly. Pour back into saucepan and cook over medium heat, stirring constantly with a wooden spoon, until custard coats back of spoon and registers 170�F on an instant-read thermometer (do not let boil). Pour custard through a fine-mesh sieve into a large bowl, then stir in cooled caramel.

Chill custard, stirring occasionally, until very cold, 3 to 6 hours.

Do the ice cream maker thing.  (it will still be quite soft), then transfer to an airtight container and put in freezer to firm up.  Use the BIG spoon.  Try to share.