Facts of Life

Memory Meals

January 27, 2012 By The Well Read Hostess 5 Comments

I never have an answer when someone asks me what my favorite food is. There are certainly things I love to eat, but I am hard pressed to say what my absolute favorite is. I like to go out to eat, but not necessarily to the big time, big name expensive restaurants. I do remember distinctly, growing up, a few special meals. There were meals that signified certain occasions or events or even just represented a celebratory mood. There was crown roast – big event, usually a holiday. A French restaurant in the city – not usually for any occasion but a family affair, time to act like a respectable human being. Fancy brunch in a hotel – special occasion or celebration. And then there was fondue. At home, not usually for any particular reason, but it certainly didn’t happen on just any old Tuesday, maybe it was over a holiday break or extended vacation period at home.

My son eats anything. Sushi? Why not! Indian food – sure. Hey, want to try some octopus? Abso-lutely.

My daughter. Not so much. Food can’t be touching and must be being in color. Possibly yellow. Occasionally orange. If it’s a month with a “Y” in it.

So I made fondue. Modified. No wine, I made a roux, added a lot of milk, stirred in Gruyere and cheddar. Weird consistency, so I whisked it a lot. It needed a ton of salt and pepper not to be bland. Frankly, regular cheese fondue with wine and kirsch is a ton better, but I knew that would never sell. We ate it with crusty bread, tomatoes, cauliflower, and green peppers. And by “we” I mean three of us. One of us ate a lot of bread and melty cheese.

Good times were had by all. So much, in fact, that I forgot to take a picture.

Until…dessert.

Then I remembered.

Melt chocolate – mostly semi-sweet, some milk, over a double boiler, add half and half or light cream until it’s a pourable consistency. Serve with fruit, cut up pound cake, and marshmallows. Give children Benadryl so they sleep.

Filed Under: Facts of Life, Holidays, In the Kitchen, Parent of the Year Tagged With: fondue

Critical Mass

January 17, 2012 By The Well Read Hostess 12 Comments

Over the weekend my daughter turned 8. She spent a lot of time making little signs that said, “Happy Birthday!” and sticking them to windows and doors, as if to remind us that we weren’t quite meeting her standards of celebration. Everybody’s a critic. I’d put the picture my brother took of her wearing the outfit her aunt got her for a birthday present up here to show you that she might actually be 17, not 8, but every time I look at it I get hives because she’s too good looking and too saucy for everyone’s good.

Yes. I just said “saucy.”

We saw We Bought A Zoo over the weekend. Worst title for a movie I think I’ve ever heard. It wasn’t a movie I really cared much about seeing. I’m not a big animal-story fan. It’s not about animals, as it turns out. It’s about people – and I cried seventeen times. Every so often my son would look over at my and announce, “Oh look, there goes mom again!” I was like the freaking Trevi Fountain, minus the filthy tourist-maimed coins. I don’t even know if I liked it; I know I wasn’t manipulated. I just know it worked.

Animal print hair extensions:

Nope.

Temporary lip tattoos:

Oh, yes. I rather think so.

Yesterday, whilst dodging reminders that it was someone else’s VERY SPECIAL DAY, I got a present. This book:

Not only is the book completely spectacular – more on that later, but the giftiness of it just took my breath away. You know how you’re just living your life, minding your own business, when these perfect people wander through your door? Out of the ordinary but sane, funky but brilliant, uplifting but grounded? And then they become your friends and your life is so much the better for having them in it – there is laughter and community and did I mention the laughter? Well…that. Sometimes fate has other plans and when you are too good at what you do, you have to follow where your star leads – even if your star leads to New Haven, or thereabouts. So they moved, but not without taking the spirit of Wednesday Spaghetti with them. They’ve had two of their own Wednesday Spaghetti dinners now in their new home.

This cookbook begins with an introduction written by the author that captures the absolute spirit of Wednesday Spaghetti – don’t freak out, just invite people over. Of course, then she gives some gorgeous recipes so that the food is somewhat more impressive than boxed noodles and jarred sauce. Maybe if I can, one week, get the numbers down under 50, I’ll rustle up a Wednesday Pork Roast (but don’t count on it).

Filed Under: Facts of Life, Holidays, In the Kitchen, Virtually Well Read, Wednesday Spaghetti Tagged With: animal print hair extensions, I cry too much at movies, Lip tattoos, Pam Anderson, Perfect Recipes, We Bought A Zoo

Tap Tap

January 8, 2012 By The Well Read Hostess 6 Comments

My kids started taking karate lessons. We figured we should make it official, as they’d been checking books out of the library about karate and practicing their “moves” on one another for over a year now and it was really only a matter of time before we had to explain a compound fracture or concussion to a suspicious ER doctor.

The only downside to karate, as I see it, is the chunk of my paycheck that will be going toward the class. But that is nothing compared to the many upsides, at least at this particular place. The biggest upside, without doubt, being that we no longer have to parent our children ourselves.

In two classes, their instructor managed to drill into them the four or five major lessons kids need to learn in order to grow up to be decent, productive, happy, self-actualized little citizens.

Listen to your parents, and be grateful for the things others do for you. Respect all other living things and other people’s spaces and belongings. Take care of your body and your mind. Self-discipline in the practice of one thing will translate to a life of happiness and accomplishment. After getting my kids to stand at attention, respond to him with “yes, sir” every time he addressed them, and maintain eye contact with him and obey his every request for a full hour and fifteen minutes, their teacher explained the principal behind the “guard up” stance that all the students assume when they are not at rest in karate class.

You don’t have your “guard up,” necessarily, in order to constantly defend yourself from physical harm, he told them. Instead, you practice being in the “guard up” position to remind yourself that in life you always need to have your guard up against negative influence – whether that be your friends trying to get you to do or say things you know are wrong, spending your time in ways that are ultimately harmful or not productive for you, or even to counteract your own negative “self-talk” – the nasty and critical, and often inaccurate, things the bitchy voice in your head says to you.

“Tap Tap,” he barks, as a way of initiating the command. “Guard up!” They yell out in unison, assuming this defensive posture, one foot back, fists clenched, and hands and elbows facing forward. They did not take their eyes off him, not even for a second, and they talked about what he had meant the whole drive home.

Again, this is after two classes. I can hardly wait to see what they’ll be like after a few months. I’m thinking humanitarians? Philosophers? Future world leaders? People who remember to flush?

Filed Under: Facts of Life, I Just Make Most of This Up, Keeping it Real, Parent of the Year Tagged With: Karate kids