2011 June

We Interrupt This Summer Slothing For a Little Rant

June 28, 2011 By The Well Read Hostess 9 Comments

Today I made the tactical error of checking my work email. And, you know, one thing led to another, and before you knew it, I was doing a load of wash, packing actual carrots in the kids’ lunch instead of simple sugars and things that come in crinkly packaging, and contemplating writing a blog post. It’s a slippery slope.

A few months ago I went shopping with my mother and wandered into Restoration Hardware. I hadn’t been in that store in at least a year and I always went there around Christmastime to get weird but useful stocking stuffers. It was also a good place to check for rugs and lighting and unusual hardware for cabinets and doors, so when we were fixing up our first house I used to shop there. When I went in this last time, I sent my husband a text that said something along the lines of, “I think I accidentally stumbled into Count Chocula’s secret lair,” because nothing in the place looked actually buy-able and it was all straight out of a torture chamber. I think the only thing that looked interesting to me was a mannequin wrapped in spiked chains holding a mace, but I don’t even want to explain why that’s appealing – not that I really could. In any event, I certainly couldn’t reconcile what I was seeing with the store I used to go to and from where I’d purchased my reproduction arts and crafts living room rug.

When I came home today, my husband showed me the mail and announced, “Mystery SOLVED.” Sitting on the counter was this:

“My WORD!” I exclaimed, “It’s huge!” *

Because it is! It’s like a phone book! But that wasn’t the best part. And that wasn’t even what the husband was talking about. The real reason that Restoration Hardware has gone crazy and there isn’t a thing in there you would want to buy is THIS:

This is Gary Friedman, Chairman and Co-Chief Executive Officer of Restoration Hardware, and he felt it was very important that we see him in all his casual - thumbs in pockets! - and very coiffed glory. Next to the full page color glossy photo of Gary is a kind of mission statement explaining why there isn’t a single thing in the catalog that any sane person would want to buy. Although he doesn’t actually word it that way. He starts by quoting the Rolling Stones and then encourages us, you and me – customers ostensibly, to just be us. And in doing so, in just being us, we should be comfortable with Restoration Hardware’s decision to be the “defiant troublemakers” of their industry who chose not to lower quality or (and this is the important part) reduce prices despite the tough times. And thus, in their first ever “source book” weighing in at twelve and half pounds (not really), we can “witness items that, like rock’n’ roll did in the ’60′s, push their established boundaries and stimulate ideas of a new and evolving way to furnish our homes.”

Oy.

And then he quotes Mick Jagger some more.

And then he shows us pictures of what I can only assume is Dracula’s castle. In black and white. Because…someone forgot color film? I don’t know. I can’t explain that. Maybe it’s a defiant troublemaker thing. Maybe Mick Jagger told him to do it. I’m a pretty big Stones fan, and I never caught that part, but who knows.

See what I mean?

and here…

also…

But then, you know what? Mr. Defiant Troublemaker got a little nervous, I think, and decided to hedge his bets with a little Pottery Barn safety net! Because every McMansion in the U.S. of A. has a bathroom that looks just like this one. Except, you know, in color.

Just be us!

*Not my actual words, because I’ve never said, “My word” in my life, and you can feel free to make whatever inappropriate jokes you’d like. My husband did.

Filed Under: Celebutaunt, Facts of Life, Keeping it Real Tagged With: Restoration Hardware, WTH

Go Big or Go Home

June 22, 2011 By The Well Read Hostess 4 Comments

Emily always does cool stuff. She goes to writing conferences, she stays in Presidential suites in fancypants hotels (by accident, but still), she writes for newspapers and takes business trips. All things that I do not do and wouldn’t even begin to know how to do but like to think about doing someday when I’m a big girl.

So when Emily called and said, “Hey, we’re going to host a book reading and signing for my friend Kim.” I said, “YES!” Even though she wasn’t really asking me a question.

I’m not sure what Kim Brittingham, author of the recently published Read My Hips: How I Learned to Love My Body, Ditch Dieting, and Live Large, expected, but one should underestimate Emily at one’s own peril.

While I was busy mentally planning a gathering in my living room (Tea! Sparkly beverages! Baked goods! Matchy matchy paper products!), Emily was lining up the local morning hot DJ, Marilyn Russell of BenFM to feature Kim as the Woman of the Week, the local Borders to provide space and advertising and to stock plenty of copies of the book, and it was merely up to us to get people in the door.

Well then.

Getting people in the door was easy. As soon as I told anyone what the book was about, they were all in. When I spoke to people face to face, I was much less formal in my description, but here’s what I had to say by way of an introduction to Kim and her work that night at Borders.

Kim’s humor and writing chops are immediately evident upon picking up the book. There is certainly lots to talk about from “Read My Hips” but regardless of where you are in terms of body image, feelings about exercise, the modern mores of Madison Avenue, and your relationships with food and family, there is one message that every single person can take away from this work: that life is just too short to be wasting time preoccupied with the judgments other people are making about your own appearance. That, as she writes, by “tossing aside any authentic parts of oneself” in order to shield others or protect oneself from public scrutiny,whatever those authentic parts happen to be – your body, your ideas, your beliefs, your faith, who you like to kiss, what you want to be when you grow up – you’re doing everyone a disservice. By being authentic to ourselves, we’re making the word a safer and better place for everyone to be their own authentic selves.

Kim’s reading was a huge success. And not just because Emily has mad PR skills, and not just because Marilyn Russell makes everything fun, but because Kim has something important to say and she says it with grace and humor. It was a great night.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Wonder Years

June 14, 2011 By The Well Read Hostess 10 Comments

I’ve been teaching for over 15 years. I’ve taught every level from fourth grade through Freshman Comp. at the University of Montana. Mostly, though, I’ve taught high school. More specifically, I’ve spent more years teaching ninth graders than any other.

Today I’m giving my last final exams as a classroom teacher.

I went back to school (again) to get my credentials to become a guidance counselor a few years ago and have been waiting for the chance to make a move.

Chance, arrived. Move, being made.

I am a very lucky girl. Not least because this year was a fantastic teaching year. I had great students. Fun, interesting, different, challenging, extraordinary students. They kept me on my toes and they made me laugh and mostly, they reminded me why I loved this job in the first place.

Next year I’ll swap my classroom for an office, and instead of meeting with large groups of kids, I’ll be meeting with them one on one. Instead of talking about writing and literature, we’ll be talking about college plans and course registrations and problems at home and trouble with friends. But it’s all kind of the same, helping young people grow into older people.

I feel strangely possessive about my students at the end of the year. As if they’re MY students and I’m sending them off into the great unknown. Of course, they’re only going two doors down to tenth grade English. This year I’m the one making the bigger leap. They, these wonderful kids, told me they think I”ll be great at my new job. High praise, that. I’ll take it.

What makes these kids so extraordinary is that they’ve figured out something that most adults I know haven’t. They’ve figured out that in order to be happy they need to find something they love. Each one of these 15 year olds has a passion for something, whether it be writing or tennis or singing or soccer or science or Harry Potter. We started the year talking about Joseph Campbell in the context of the Hero’s Journey; there’s no need to give them the “follow your bliss” spiel, they know it by heart. And I mean, by heart, because nobody ever told them, they just know that their happiness depends on finding something to care about.

And that’s the beauty of it, they aren’t too cool to care. Make no mistake, these are future homecoming queens and captains of the lacrosse team, but they are comfortable in their own skin and that’s a powerful thing. I wish I could bottle that and distribute it in high school cafeterias across the globe.

People say that adolescence is the worst time of a person’s life. I don’t know about that. It’s not easy, but can anything so full of promise be so bad?

Filed Under: Facts of Life, I Just Make Most of This Up, What I Know About Your Teenager That You Don't