Given the title, you might think I was headed in this direction:
But no. Although for kicks, you could play, “Guess what belongs to whom.” I’ll give you a hint, everybody in my house has had the flu for over a week except for me.
But how mundane. How predictable. How very suburban working mother.
So. No.
My life is lush because despite the evidence above that it could all be rolling along a teensy bit more smoothly for me, I decided that it would be unwise for me to succumb to the coughing and the moaning and the tissues and the dishes and the work and the papers and the cleaning and the errands and the spilled soup and the dog who must go out every five minutes and who has eaten a hole in the couch that it took me 10 months to
Instead, I dispensed the, ahem, appropriate “dosages” to the “patients” and started making lists of All That Doesn’t Suck.
To wit:
Because I’m that good.
Get your mind out of the gutter, that’s not what I meant.
When I get it in my head that something needs doing, it needs doing right away. TWGH was sick, and I was bound and determined to do this project all by myself without bugging him or asking him for help.
First step, shopping.
I took the seat off, cut the batting, the fabric, and the heinous but necessary clear plastic stuff, and started wrapping and stapling.
Then, as oft happens chez WRH when I’m attempting to do some project in a completely smacked-ass way…
Please note, gentle reader, that my hands are not that hairy. TWGH came in, saw that I was armed with a heavy duty staple gun, a utility knife, and a hammer, and rolled
But at least the chairs are covered. Right? And I can wipe the stuck on
A friend celebrated her 30th birthday this weekend. That’s right. I have 30 year old friends, why shouldn’t I? Just because she’s a little
I spent the entire day after my shower yesterday alternately licking and propositioning my right arm. You need this. Trust me.
Main Entry: 1lush
Pronunciation: \ˈləsh\
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English lusch soft, tender
Date: 1610
1 a : growing vigorously especially with luxuriant foliage <lush grass> b : lavishly productive: as (1) : fertile (2) : thriving (3) :: plentiful (4): prosperous, profitable
2 a : savory, delicious b : appealing to the senses <the lush sounds of the orchestra> c : opulent, sumptuous <lush accommodations characterized by abundance(Merriam Webster). Note to any students who might have stumbled upon this and hung in here to figure out what in the Sam Hill their English teacher is up to, you are not allowed to use dictionary definitions in your writing. It’s a bush league move. I’m exempt from the rules. Deal with it. It’s not a democracy, it’s a benevolent dictatorship.
Last night when I couldn’t sleep until never for Who Knows What reason, I read this book. I got it from the library – and if you’ve requested it and are wondering when the hell it’s going to be back because it’s overdue, it’ll be there this afternoon – on a whim. I liked the cover, or something. I dunno. But instead of reading Colson Whitehead’s Sag Harbor, which I’ve been trying to chomp through for over a month and making no forward progress at all but rather instead feeling a little meh about the whole enterprise, I picked this up and BAM, suddenly I’d read the whole thing and it was daybreak.
And my word. It is lush. It’s about a relationship that, on paper, should make you a little uneasy and characters who, on paper, should feel predictable, and a chain of events that, on paper – WAIT. It’s a book. Forget all that “on paper” business, switch it to “in theory,” which sounds like I’m a college sophomore trying to explain postmodernism (HEY! Shout out to Postmodern Rick! Another story for another day) or somesuch nonsense, but still…If I gave you a brief plot synopsis, you wouldn’t be moved to go to the library and get it or better yet, I reckon Ms. Callahan would say, order it and pay cashmoney for it.
Instead, I’ll say this. Remember in high school when you first really fell hard for somebody? And that person was falling for you, too? But you were both too shy to do anything about it right away so there were lots of “chance” meetings and extended gazes and overinterpretation of subtext? Remember how, when you both started to get braver, the air between you seemed supercharged and heavy and your limbs felt floaty and ethereal one minute and heavy as lead the next? Remember how you never felt so beautiful cute lovable charming funny sweet big strong handsome perfect and ready for whatever happened next?
Well. It’s like that.
Lush.
And when you finish this one, in one night, you will still have time to finish Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby by the 31st for Virtually Well Read. Because you want to. You know you want to. Don’t you? Want to?
