Dear Interwebs: Please Excuse the WRH from Her Daily Writing Assignments. Or. How I Spent My Summer Vacation (So Far)
In no particular order whatsoever:
- had my hoohoo upgraded and learned a lot about saggy bladders.
- got email from my Welsh author boyfriend, Terry Darlington.
- drove to the pool and back 78 times.
- had some cool chicks over for dinner (her and her and her and her and her and her).
- this one and her four shorties stayed for a while and brought bread - hey, she left without leaving the recipe - and pickles, horseradish mustard, apple butter which I'm just going to wear so I can lick it off my own arm at will it's just that good, cute kids, and joy.
- lost one of the shorties prized blankie in Chinatown.
- harassed Lost and Found employees of the Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority...we remain hopeful.
- read about
my boyfriend the Cubano bad boy security dude and my other boyfriend the Italian movie star copstrong female protagonist in Janet Evanovich's latest book...that took about 45 minutes...I wish I were kidding because I want more EvanoCrack. - cheered my boy as he swam in his first and second and hooray tonight his third swim meets.
- didn't sell my other baby on Craigslist because she coughs all night and then whines all day because damn, she has a summer cold and it's not her fault and also she's decided to love me anyway despite the fact that we're not so much raising her as she's training us to do her bidding.
- have read half of Jincy Willett's Winner of the National Book Award and had three email convos with my BFF Cindy Guidry about why we love this book and my sense that other people won't think it's as funny and amazing as I do and whether that says something about me or them.
- broke my cell phone and have enjoyed the peace and quiet so much that I haven't replaced it and might not until later, gator. Actually went into the phone store in the Mall to evaluate the Blackberry thing and had a panic attack and had to leave. OK. Had to go to Macy's, THEN had to leave.
- have read Jen Lancaster's Pretty in Plaid. While waiting at a stop light. The experience was like eating Skittles. Pleasant, sweet, easy to get down, and mostly forgettable in the big scheme of things. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Her mostly forgettable kicks my totally non-existent's ass all over the block.
- my son just walked upstairs wearing a dinosaur costume - the same dinosaur costume that comprises Dress Up Clothes Mountain in the basement and that he's supposed to be cleaning up. This doesn't bode well for my afternoon.
- discovered the best bikini waxer on the East Coast named Edith at Jason Matthew Salon , and I'm not going to give you any details about that unless you email me and you are not a pervy stalker and you are actually interested in how life changing a good brazilian wax can be - not you mom, we're not going there.
- went to the gym -14 times, that's right, NEGATIVE 14.
- "played" more tennis, once with the parents of the kid that I gave a fake final exam to this year (before I gave him the real one - I'm not THAT mean. Usually.) that was utterly impossible as a joke and also as payback for the torture through which he and his buddies put me during the last three weeks of school. I told them I was afraid I would get sued. They thought it was funny. Me three.
- got the oil changed in the family wagon in preparation for an upcoming getaway.
- and my daughter just came upstairs dressed as in cat ears, a cat tail, a men's tie, and purple plastic, be-feathered, high heeled shoes. I'm going to assume that she's just a clicky heeled androgynous cat and not a five year old auditionee for the Pussycat dolls. However, I'm also going to assume that the punks aren't even considering cleaning up the basement. Time to go get assertive - and by assertive, I mean of course, naggy and whiny and then finally cranky enough to threaten heinous consequences like NO TELEVISION UNTIL YOU GO TO COLLEGE or until I forget about the punishment. Whichever comes first.
Posted by Well Read Hostess at 7/1/2009 2:04 PM 
Categories: Mama Like,WRH,Parent of the Year,On the Nightstand,Politics as Usual
Tags: blogging Janet Evanovich Gynecology kids Virtually Well Read books Jen Lancaster Jincy Willett bikini waxing family Mark Sanford
Categories: Mama Like,WRH,Parent of the Year,On the Nightstand,Politics as Usual
Tags: blogging Janet Evanovich Gynecology kids Virtually Well Read books Jen Lancaster Jincy Willett bikini waxing family Mark Sanford
Um, no can do.
I've trimmed my blog reading down to about three, and you're one of them. If you don't write, I have almost nothing to read. Wholly unacceptable. So I'm afraid I need you to stop all this other blah-blah and get to writing.
Except the body part upgrades and the waxing stuff. Keep doing that. You know, just in the interest of having more life experiences to pull from when you write.
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almost done with Winner of National Book Award...a title i cannot remember and just had to scroll up twice to see your blog to remember title.. however I also am finding it amazing and amusing and original characters..a rare finding these days. i'm thrilled to learn about all your hoohoo updates. i think hoohoo should be a snack and hoho have the waxes and updates. i'm considering putting in for custody of the jackson children since they resemble me more than any of the Jacksons. back to reading
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Uh, Wendi?
Some consider the hoohoo a snack.
Just sayin'.
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Thank goodness my husband considers the hoohoo a snack...otherwise...
I got Jincy's book in the mail, and will begin reading it as soon as I can quell this burgeoning anxiety. Can't concentrate with a stomachache.
Oh, and did I say how much fun I had at your house? Let's get together at Burlap and Bean. The kids can mill about as we sip coffee, right?
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My jaw just dropped at Kelly's comment. She is so adorable and good. Which made the snack comment absolutely priceless.
I made french toast out of Pam's bread. Holy mother of delish
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Hello, The High Holy Mother of Delish here. Just wondering if a filthy brownish-yet-supposed-to-be-blue moose-looking-creature was located in the great volcano of dress-up.
Because I, apparantly, in addition to being The Supreme Queenliest Most Highest of Most High Holy Delishishness, am the world's worstest keeper-tracker-of-all-things-lovies.
However. I am accomplished at ignoring fist fights. MY LIVING ROOM IS ABSOLUTELY SILENT EXCEPT FOR THE SINGING OF A SMALL GREEN WORD WORLD FROGGY. LALALALALALALALALALALALA.
We are in love with you and your people.
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hmm. is there a relationship between the upgrading of the hoohoo and the best brazilian?
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She's on a quest to become a MILF. She's started with the hoohoo and is working her way outward in concentric circles. Next up? Bellybutton piercing.
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Either that or tramp stamp, depending on whether her circles are going clockwise or counter-clockwise.
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That's probably just about enough info (too much for some) on the daughter's blog site. Love, Her Mother
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Aww, c'mon Mom.
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I hate you. Your summer is awesome so far and I have accomplished nothing but a really bad case of cellulitis.
I did finish Winner of the National Book Award and LOVED IT! I will be on vacation during book discussion time and won't be bringing my laptop, but when I get back I will read all the comments.
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I still need to get the stinking book. What else is new.
But Bugaboo goes back to school Monday. So there's hope for me.
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-I finally got the book.
-Pray tell, what is a hoohoo upgrade? Did the works get tightened up?
-Glad you found a good waxer, it is in fact, life changing
-Aren't you coming my direction soon?
-The pussycat doll thing was high-larious, glad you're having a good summer.
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Cool and smart chicks indeed.
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