Lighting the Extremely Dark, Dusty, Dank Corners of My Mind

Adding to last year’s list, I remember:

Olde English pizza – always pepperoni – on MacDade Boulevard.

A hydraulic line blowing on an airplane I was currently in, following instructions, assuming the “crash position,” feeling very calm, watching tears fall on the khaki pant leg on the guy sitting next to me, landing without any trouble at all because the hydraulic line that blew was attached to the signal for the landing gear, not the actual landing gear, getting on my connecting flight and ordering a very big drink.

The smell of the pages of my first copy of Pride and Prejudice from high school.

Swimming in Turney’s pond.

Meeting Adelle, who was literally weeping in frustration because her apartment was so hot, and telling her that I’d just seen fans for sale at the grocery store down the road.

Getting hit in the face with a line drive in the sixth grade/teacher softball game and breaking my nose.  Actually, I don’t remember much after the ball hit me.  The teacher still works in my district and claims no memory of this experience.  My ENT doctor would beg to differ.

Getting busted by the cops making out with somebody else’s boyfriend – now my husband – in August of a summer long ago parked by the side of the road in a local state park.

When I didn’t have to touch up my roots every two weeks.

The ice storm in 1998?  1999?  when school was canceled for three days because the power was out, and even though I lived on the campus of the school, I had power…and three days off.

When my tan used to come from the sun and not a bottle or a spray can.

Making my husband take me to Sanibel Island for our first wedding anniversary because I was five months pregnant and was so sick of lying on my back that I wanted to dig a hole for my growing belly in the sand and take a nap. 

Eating Nutty Buddies with my dad at the Bait Shop in Bahia Honda State Park in the Florida Keys, next to this bridge:




Showing up at a wedding reception with my friend Chrissy completely wasted somewhat the worse for wear, realizing that a) I’d left my shoes at home and b) we were seated with the entire University of Wisconsin chearleading squad from 1987.

My parents with zinc oxide on their noses at the beach in the Bahamas in front of Linton’s Cottages.

How it always felt like Memorial Day should be the beginning of summer vacation, even though it’s not.  Some things never change.









Mother Nature’s Biological Clock

This morning:




Today, 1pm, made by kids to help the mama Robin finish her nest in peace:



Today, 4 pm:



to be continued…

I Knew You When – Uncharacteristically Sappy Alert

There is no shortage of birthday poetry.  What remains is determining which is the best one.

Poem for my 43rd Birthday
by Charles Bukowski

To end up alone
in a tomb of a room
without cigarettes
or wine–
just a lightbulb
and a potbelly,
grayhaired,
and glad to have
the room.
…in the morning
they’re out there
making money:
judges, carpenters,
plumbers, doctors,
newsboys, policemen,
barbers, carwashers,
dentists, florists,
waitresses, cooks,
cabdrivers…
and you turn over
to your left side
to get the sun
on your back
and out
of your eyes.



  • The title seems like this could have been the one, but the “by Charles Bukowski” is a pretty good indication that it doesn’t exactly capture the sentiment I’m aiming for.


When You Are Old
by William Butler Yeats

When you are old and gray and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true;
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face.

And bending down beside the glowing bars
Murmur, a little sadly, how love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And his his face amid a crowd of stars.



  • Can one go wrong with Yeats?  I think not, but the title does raise an uncomfortable issue.  Not that you ARE old, it’s about the WHEN you eventually, many, many, many years from now become old, but who wants to dwell on this?  Still.  This WRH does love the pilgrim soul in you.  Always has.  Always will.


Miracles
by Walt Whitman

Why! who makes much of a miracle?
As to me, I know of nothing else but miracles,
Whether I walk the streets of Manhattan,
Or dart my sight over the roofs of houses toward the sky,
Or wade with naked feet along the beach, just in the edge of the
water,
Or stand under trees in the woods,
Or talk by day with any one I love–or sleep in the bed at night with
any one I love,
Or sit at table at dinner with my mother,
Or look at strangers opposite me riding in the car,
Or watch honey-bees busy around the hive, of a summer forenoon,
Or animals feeding in the fields,
Or birds–or the wonderfulness of insects in the air,
Or the wonderfulness of the sun-down–or of stars shining so quiet
and bright,
Or the exquisite, delicate, thin curve of the new moon in spring;
Or whether I go among those I like best, and that like me best–
mechanics, boatmen, farmers,
Or among the savans–or to the soiree–or to the opera,
Or stand a long while looking at the movements of machinery,
Or behold children at their sports,
Or the admirable sight of the perfect old man, or the perfect old
woman,
Or the sick in hospitals, or the dead carried to burial,
Or my own eyes and figure in the glass;
These, with the rest, one and all, are to me miracles,
The whole referring–yet each distinct, and in its place.

To me, every hour of the light and dark is a miracle,
Every cubic inch of space is a miracle,
Every square yard of the surface of the earth is spread with the
same,
Every foot of the interior swarms with the same;
Every spear of grass–the frames, limbs, organs, of men and women,
and all that concerns them,
All these to me are unspeakably perfect miracles.

To me the sea is a continual miracle;
The fishes that swim–the rocks–the motion of the waves–the ships,
with men in them,
What stranger miracles are there?



  • This is near perfect, I would add only one thing:  That you were born and I get to be the one to celebrate that happy occasion with you and with our children every year is the best miracle of them all.

 


Happy Birthday.

I’ll try to come up with a better cake than this one.



cake wrecks