You take the good,
You take the bad,
You take them both and there you have the facts of life.
The facts of life.

There’s a time you gotta go and show
You’re growin’ now,
You know about the facts of life.
The facts of life.

When the world never seems,
To be living up to your dreams.
And suddenly you’re finding out,
The facts of life are all about you.
All about you.
You-u-u-u,
A-ll about you.
It takes a lot to get em right,
But you’re learnin the facts of life.
Learnin the facts of life.
Learnin the facts of life.
Learnin the facts of li-fe.

Warning:  Contents contain gratuitous Clooney



I have absolutely no idea what Cloris Leachman is doing in this photograph, nor can I explain the small blond boy (?) next to Le Clooney. 

Among the Facts of Life are these:

If you plan a party and borrow and arrange a lot of chairs and tables in your yard and invite lots of people and their kids to run around and play horseshoes and eat chicken cooked on the grill, it will rain.  And not just rain, but storm madly.  Also, count on a tornado warning and quarter-sized hail.

Fortunately, you have easy going friends who will not only bring you flowers and wine and music and wonderful things to eat but will not comment on the slightly damp nature of the chicken and who are probably kind of psyched that their kids are running around your house and not their own during Tropical Storm WhatTheHell.

If you invite people to your house, you will probably get your act together enough to slap at least one coat of paint on a wall…maybe even more than one wall.  You might even hang the poster you’ve been threatening to.




If you, after excessive careful deliberation at the grocery store, decide that YES you will pay forty trillion dollars for the JUMBO ziploc bags because you will absolutely need them when you pack for the beach, you will walk into the kitchen shortly thereafter to find this:




Then, as you travel around the house, following the trail of JUMBO ziploc bags, you will find that they are being used as “egg sacs” for “dung beetles” who are carving inroads into a giant pile of “dung” otherwise known as “your bed,” as featured here:



Still, and yet, forty trillion dollars and a trashed baggie and tinfoil drawer and oh yes BED are a small price to pay for the fact that your children actually visited a museum last week (have I mentioned how much I love my in-laws?) and absorbed some culture – albeit of the dung beetle variety.  My prayer to Isis must have worked.

So.

You take the good
You take the bad.
You take them both and there you have the facts of life.





Where do you take them???  I’ll look into that.