Filch it Friday
I'm filching from The New Girl because she is funny, funny, funny, and smart, smart, smart, and maybe if I link to her you will associate me with her and I'll come out a winner. I'm also filching from her because I'm mentally stalking her best friend, who I just found out is her best friend and now I'm feeling sort of freaky like a mental stalker does when she learns that she's been bowling with the best friend of the person whom she's mentally stalking. The best friend, by the way, writes the way I would write if I had balls. That sounds like I'm saying she has balls. She doesn't (to the best of my knowledge) have balls. She is ballSY, but not ballED. Now that I think about it, it makes sense that these two are close friends, because they brandish smart and hilarious in a very similar manner.
'Fraid yet? I sound like a sociopath with attentional issues.
Fun Facts Friday
Davy Crockett is my great, great, great, great, great uncle. This never fails to not impress anyone at all.
The first time TWGH asked me to marry him I was 13 and he was 14 and we were sitting on the steps at the swim club where we both worked. Think of the time we could have saved if we'd just run off and done it then instead of waiting until we were in our 30's.
My daughter, who is 4, has stopped saying "lellow," and "memember," but still says, "yets." As in, "Yets go to Rita's and get ice cream." I refuse to correct her, and if you do, I will hit you with my purse. And by purse, I actually mean car.
I have never read Moby Dick, War and Peace, Anna Karenina, most of James Joyce, or the Bible, but I can fake it on all counts pretty well. I have been known (NOT NOW NOT THIS YEAR NOT THIS JOB to teach works I have never read. And gotten (I hate that word) away with it.
When I was pregnant with my son, I had pre-eclampsia and gained 20 pounds of water weight
My feet, though no longer water-filled, grew 1/2 size with each pregnancy. I had to buy all new shoes, twice. To some this sounds kind of like a fantasy, but immediately after delivering a colicky baby via c-section, shoe shopping is not high on anyone's list of fun things to do.
The most outrageous story I ever heard was told to me by a friend who'd flown into town from Chicago on a small, one-aisle, prop plane. Halfway through the flight, a woman got up out of her seat, put a vomit bag on the floor in the middle of the aisle, squatted over it, and pooped. Then she wrapped up the bag and sat back in her seat as though nothing had happened. I would give a million dollars (if I could convince someone to give it to me first) to have seen this.
I still haven't picked a paint color for my kitchen.
Happy Friday.
I'm for razzle dazzle rose.
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If you have never read Moby Dick you are the luckiest person in the world. It's dreadful.
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Yes, you are very correct. She's smart and funny.
And no balls here. Although on some days...
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I still call Mac & Cheese 'lellow loodles', because that was what my son called it when he was 2. My daughter used to call toes 'tickles'. I hated when the speech therapist 'fixed' her. Moby Dick ID dreadful. It's actually more like a term paper on whale anatomy and whaling with a little side story about the crazy captain and the white whale. Thankfully most of the chapters are short, so you can suffer in small increments.
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I read Moby Dick. It ain't fun. And part of war and peace and most of the bible.
But since you get to read grown-up books now and I don't (yet) you still got one on me. BTW, I've taught math I never learned. Does that count?
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I've tried to read Moby Dick twice. Page 5 has a worn dog-ear on it now, and page 4 has some slobber from where my mouth landed when the book rendered me unconscious.
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Don't let her kid you.
She has balls.
And they're made of BRASS.
And if you're going to mentally stalk someone, she's probably the way to go..
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