Magazine Fix
GQ magazine is inane. First of all, I don't know any man who actually reads it. Are there any men who read it? I think that women read it, think, "Wow, I'll bet my husband could pull off these leopard socks!" These women buy the leopard socks, their husbands are bewildered, and a fight occurs three days later about who didn't put away the tupperware. (Answer: He didn't. Men don't put tupperware away. It's a Y chromosome thing. Science can't fully explain it.)
But, and I'd reference the site here where you could go and read it for yourself but I can't because the charming people at Conde Nast would like to squeeze every last nickel out of you themselves rather than let you read something funny and useful for free, there's a...I don't know what it is, it isn't an article...thing in February's GQ about the spouses of the men running for President. They didn't include Bill and Hillary because, as we all now know, they are co-running for President. The not-article is hilarious and surprising. For instance, did you know that John McCain left his wife for a former model beer heiress after said first wife was injured in a "near fatal car accident (which) left her disabled." Not hilarious, but surprising. Also, Janet Huckabee has bungee jumped. Both hilarious and surprising. And, Rudy Giuliani's first wife (not second, not third, not fourth - oh, come on! You know it's coming!) was his second cousin. Not surprising, but hilarious.
I give you permission to skip the rest of the magazine.
Just for kicks, tonight you could watch the President's last State of the Union address. Every time I say that or type it, I actually laugh. I can hardly wait to see what he - I mean his speechwriters - are actually going to tell us. Talk about crappy jobs?! "Hey! The economy's not really so bad! I've still got lots of cash! Hey! We're winnin' the war 'cause my surge worked! Hey! They still hate us 'cause we're free! Oh wait! I made us not free anymore! Hey! I'm fixin' to save this here economy that's not so bad by givin' y'all $600! Peace out! God Bless America!"
But, and I'd reference the site here where you could go and read it for yourself but I can't because the charming people at Conde Nast would like to squeeze every last nickel out of you themselves rather than let you read something funny and useful for free, there's a...I don't know what it is, it isn't an article...thing in February's GQ about the spouses of the men running for President. They didn't include Bill and Hillary because, as we all now know, they are co-running for President. The not-article is hilarious and surprising. For instance, did you know that John McCain left his wife for a former model beer heiress after said first wife was injured in a "near fatal car accident (which) left her disabled." Not hilarious, but surprising. Also, Janet Huckabee has bungee jumped. Both hilarious and surprising. And, Rudy Giuliani's first wife (not second, not third, not fourth - oh, come on! You know it's coming!) was his second cousin. Not surprising, but hilarious.
I give you permission to skip the rest of the magazine.
Just for kicks, tonight you could watch the President's last State of the Union address. Every time I say that or type it, I actually laugh. I can hardly wait to see what he - I mean his speechwriters - are actually going to tell us. Talk about crappy jobs?! "Hey! The economy's not really so bad! I've still got lots of cash! Hey! We're winnin' the war 'cause my surge worked! Hey! They still hate us 'cause we're free! Oh wait! I made us not free anymore! Hey! I'm fixin' to save this here economy that's not so bad by givin' y'all $600! Peace out! God Bless America!"
You know who I think is going to benefit from the $600 hand out? Christian Louboutin.
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